My Chemistry UG in one post

Reflection of my Chemistry UG at Imperial College London (2020-2023). The first two years were extremely hard and painful. There was a depressed period when I disconnect with any friends and families for months. It’s a period of exploring, learning, sadness, failure, incompetency. It is also a period I search for my values, identities, believes, and growth.

Year 1 - Depressed

Yr1 was in the middle of covid, only some of my high school friends came to the UK with me (they later go back though in March or sth). It was rough. I was actually quite sad now when I was trying to write it, it could be so much more if only I could start over again. RIP lost uni life

I have to say my verbal English was really bad, like really back in Yr1. It was my first time to live in an environment when everything was in English and it was just HARD for me.

It was actually just so much sadness from this period I am just gonna not write it here lol. Covid also makes it worse. I was very isolated and don’t really know how to take care of myself …

Yr1 was just predominately bad/ sad memory I really wished I could do it again … But I think I am over it now that I am Yr4. It is what it is.

Year 2 - Slightly better but not really

Yr2 was much better initially, I was happier and less anti-social etc. But then Yr2 Chemistry hits, I don’t know if it’s just Imperial Chemistry that is bad or what (probably), but it essentially made me HATE CHEMISTRY, very. I was playing league of legends during the January exam period. In the end I got a mid 2.1 for Yr2 (compared to almost 80% in Yr1)

I hated chemistry so much that I started emailing the Life Science Departments for some summer research opportunities. Must have sent over 40 emails and there’s only one group that replied me (guess who? it’s Sarah Rouse). She just started her group and also it was the lockdown period so I think I was just lucky that I got in.

At the first couple of months I was just BAD. We had this collaboration meeting with third party and I just really couldn’t speak English and I think it obviously makes Sarah looks stupid etc. I don’t even know what though she never really gives up on me or think I was stupid etc, like she still listen/ vales my thoughts/ ideas initially for those projects, and I am just forever grateful.

I officially joined the lab in Yr2 summer for a UROP, and then stayed during term-time as well, and now I’m still an active member in the lab. Sarah essentially shaped who I am today, both as a person and my career. It’s also why I am trying to give back and help others for MRes application or anything etc, as I knew how important the initial help it is from my experience.

Year 3 - Period of intellectual growth

Year 3 is definitely the best among the three years. It was a period of in intellectual growth. I have a desk in the office and I basically go to the office everyday and do full time Computational Biochemistry research and full time Chemistry UG (shout out to pre-recorded lectures). I think I become more much smarter after Year 3, with also first experience of Poster presentation in a conference etc. It was quite struggling or challenging but it was good struggle, I wished I can go back in year 3 coz it would be so much easier - like I would be so much faster in reading papers etc and I would be able to understand things much faster. (Another evidence of I did learn/ grow a lot during that year). I could probably get 75% + in Chemistry while doing 2x more work in the research side no joke if I could go back.

In a nutshell

My Chem UG was OK i guess, I aim’t complaining coz I was so much ahead in the research side. I wished I could go back in Yr1 and Yr2 though I would probably make a lot more friends, got much better grade, and prob much happier. But again I normally don’t think about this at all anymore nowadays .. It is what it is.

But low-key ICL Chemistry curriculum is just badge and prob killed my chemistry love. I still like medicinal chemistry/ drug discovery though it’s the other bit like inorganic/ bad lectures in physical chem that makes me fking hate chemistry. Theoretical/ physical chemistry should be fun but the lectures were so bad that I lost enthusiasm .. I might pick them up again though in near future.